Revolt of the Dwarves by Rose Estes
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

I picked this book up last week at a book fair. Every few years I can't help myself and I become a slave to nostalgia and pick up either an Endless Quest or Choose Your Own Adventure book. And every time I do, there's not a single one in the rest of my library because I always get rid of them. They're usually just not very good. But this one... sadly, this is one of the worst.

I read every path of this book and there are roughly four major pathways, and while each has a little uniqueness to it, none of them are very exciting. Also, there are many times you are given two choices, but both end up leading to the same destination. (E.g. choose A or B. Doesn't matter, they both lead to C!) A few other times a pathway will simply tell you to go back and choose again. How exciting.

On a world building level, how is it that in a world with dwarves, dragons, and assorted other fantasy beings, our protagonist is stunned to meet a pixie and declares pixies to not be real.

Worst of all is the writing. Here's one quick example as we head toward a river: "Soon you hear the sound of rushing water..." and then: "Broad and brown, it flows sluggishly." (p.134) If it's slow moving, then where's the rushing water? There are other examples, but that was probably the worst case of contradiction.

Anyway, this will be thrown back into the wild and then, in another few years, I'm sure I'll grab another one of these things to drive myself crazy. Ah, nostalgia.

(Oh, I should add that I was a teen when these books first came out and I had the first two Endless Quest books, but realized quickly, even as a teen, not to buy the others. I guess I lost that wisdom over the years (failed wisdom roll).

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Devil House by John Darnielle
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I don't know where to begin...

Part of the problem is that this book carries with it the baggage of all of Darnielle's previous works, all of which I've read. While I enjoyed his first two books, his last one, Universal Harvester, left me with a feeling of deep mistrust. I read the book very quickly, I think in a day or two, and throughout it had a nice sense of foreboding and dread, and tension was building, but then... nothing happened.

The book was so disappointing for me, I wasn't planning on reading Devil House at all, but then I received a signed copy as a gift so I felt compelled to give it a chance. But this was early in the year so I set it aside for September.

I know you're not supposed to judge a book by its cover, but I love that retro cover. That combined with the title makes it sound like a 70s horror novel that could have been listed in Grady Hendrix' Paperbacks from Hell. All of this was in the books favor, but I still felt reservations about reading it once fall rolled in. Meanwhile, Darnielle's band The Mountain Goats release their latest album Bleed Out and it's great. But even this is surprising to me since I've felt let down by his last few albums. Sure, there's always at least a couple of songs I enjoy on every recording, but that's it. It's been that way for the past ten years since the release of Transcendental Youth. That was the last album that I thoroughly loved and listened to over and over again. I never got into Beat the Champ and everything that followed usually only had three or four decent songs, the rest just weren't memorable. Much like Devil House, I wasn't planning on getting Bleed Out, but I loved the concept and the cover and decided to take a chance. And for once, there are two songs I'm not as into, but the rest of the album is so much fun and really gels for me. I love it.

So I'm listening to Bleed Out, really digging the most of the songs, especially Hostages and Make You Suffer and despite my reservations, it feels good to be sitting down with Devil House, a feeling I wasn't expecting.

And it's September, the pre-spooky season, not yet Halloween, but a time to work up to it which I usually do with some Agatha Christie murder mysteries or other lighter horror if you will.

To my surprise, I start Devil House and realize that this might be, in some small sense, a murder mystery. Based on the title and cover, I was expecting this to possibly delve into some supernatural, but tha'ts not the case at all. In fact, I know nothing about the subject of this book other than the title so I'm going in completely blank.

As I begin, it's a little slow going, but it's pleasant enough. I'm not rushing through it, but reading a little every day and I'm getting into it. Then, about 250 pages in (out of 400), there's a bit of a reveal that's big enough it feels like -- that's it. That's the end of the mystery and it feels (knowing Darnielle) that we won't ever really know what happened in Devil House one afternoon when two murders took place. We won't know which of our main characters did it because there's a sudden intro of a new character that almot makes no sense. But whatever, that's not the point. The mystery will remain forever unanswered, but there's still 150 pages to go so now it's going to be about the characters and their journey (including our narrator) of the events and as I read on, that seems to be the case. Until I get to the last section of the book.

Suddenly, we're thrust into the POV of a completely new character, a childhook friend of the narrator's. Now this isn't the first shift of POV, we've had several long sections of second person POV (a very unusual choice), but it still feels like we're seeing events through the eyes of our protagonist. So this was initially disorienting since we're not reading about someone who knew our narrator as a child, but hasn't seen them in years. They meet and discuss the author's latest project, Devil House, and the author lends him an early draft of a manuscript.

As our new narrator reads Devil House (the manuscript), I start getting this worried feeling that there's yet to be a surprise, but this late in the book, I have a horrible feeling it's not going to be organic to what's come before, it's not going to--well--work!

And it doesn't. It doesn't work at all!

I was so annoyed I almost wanted to throw the book against the wall. The ending is so terrible that, as a reader, I felt cheated. I felt as though I wasted my time reading a 400 page book in which the author, in trying to avoid all clichés, almost makes the biggest one of all -- coming close to the, "it was all just a dream" cliché of every teenager's early writing.

I'm not sure which is worse, this or Universal Harvester. It's been five years since I read the latter so my memory has faded. However, after reading Devil House, I'm closing the door on any future books by Darnielle. I'm not saying I'll never read anything by him again. I'm not closing the door forever, but it's going to take a lot to budge it open because that ending was bullshit.

My final takeaway is this -- go listen to Bleed Out by The Mountain Goats. You'll save time and have more fun.


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Page & Spine

I'm very fortunate to have had a fair number of works published in the virtual online pages of Page and Spine Fiction Showcase.  My stories: "So It Goes", "Franz List", "Hazardous Work if You Can Get It", and "The Horrors of Hawaii" along with a fair number of poems have all been published there.  So I'd like to invite you to head over to the archive page where every single one of my works can easily be found and read.  My thanks to N.K. Wagner, the editor and publisher, for her continued enthusiasm and support.  Here is the link:

https://www.pagespineficshowcase.com/samson-stormcrow-hayes.html

From Tolkien to Oz: The Art of Greg Hildebrandt by William McGuire

My rating: 2 of 5 stars


I want to make clear that my low rating is in no way related to the beauty or quality of Greg Hildebrandt's artwork which I think is wonderful. If I were rating the book based soley on his art, it would easily earn five stars. Instead, my rating is based on the book in general and as an artbook, it falls short.

I collected several of Hildebrandt's illustrated books long ago, and unlike his editions of Dracula or Poe, the publisher chose to make this in a landscape format. This would be great if the illustrations at least filled the page, but they almost never do. More often than not, three to five pictures are crammed onto the page making them so small that you have to practically put your nose to the paper to take in all the details. This is not what you expect in an artbook. These wonderful images should have a page to themselves.

And then there's the text. While I enjoyed Hildebrandt's quotes and the captions relating to specific works (I would have preferred more of them), we occasionally come to a page of text introducing us to the next section of the book. These are all terrible. The exception is the opening which gives a nice overview of Greg Hildebrandt's life and work. The book ends with a short interview, but almost all of the questions relate to answers we already have from the introduction (e.g. Who influenced you as an artist?, a question well detailed in the opening). Since the book is unfairly listed as being "by William McGuire" (I say unfair since it's really by Hildebrandt and the text is only there to support the art, not the other way around), I must place the blame for the terrible text sqaurely on him.

I will nevertheless treasure this along with all my other Hildebrandt art books, but this book could have been so much better.



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Satan Black / Cargo Unknown by Kenneth Robeson




For a long time I've been reluctant to read some of the later Doc Savage books and this double novel which includes a story from late 1944 and early 1945 bears me out (not that I won't give others a shot, as a Doc fan I can't help myself). Both stories in this volume involved the war effort in some small way.

In Satan Black, Doc is sent to investigate what's holding up a line of oil pipe in Arkansas. The oil is needed to fuel the upcoming European invasion, but a Hatfield and McCoy style feud has started and one faction is sabotaging the pipeline which is owned by the other.

At first, I thought this would be a solo Doc adventure as he's alone for the first 40 pages or so (in a 107 page book). But then Doc completely disappears and Monk, Ham, and Renny take over till he reappears at the end. It wasn't hard to guess the mastermind behind the plan.

Sadly, it wasn't very interesting and it felt like a filler adventure. However, Unknown Cargo was far worse. So much of this story felt like someone rushing through their homework assignment on a Sunday night.

In this adventure, Renny, Monk and Ham have all finished working on projects in London and are looking forward to coming home. A member of the Admiralty talks them into taking a submarine back because of some unnamed reason that will be revealed later. They board the sub which makes its transatlantic journey without mishap until they're near the east coast. Then, members of the gang masquerading as crew, sabotage the sub. Renny barely makes it out, but Monk, Ham and the rest of the crew are trapped. Renny finds Doc and the rest of the book is about if they can rescue them before they run out of oxygen.

What's interesting about both of these books is that while the characters of Doc and his crew are more human, they're also more sadistic. At one point, Doc threatens Renny with his fist if he doesn't get over his grief of leaving Monk and Ham in the sub. Later, Renny physically tortures a member of the gang for information as Doc watches. Doc used to hypnotize people for info all the time, but I guess he forgot he could do that. But what really struck me is when Doc comes across a man stabbed by the gang and he tells someone to call for a doctor! Doc Savage is a world renowned surgeon! His nickname is "Doc"! He invested a brain surgery to cure criminals and performed a delicate eye surgery on Littlejohn. But he can't deal with a simple stab wound?!? A few moments later, Doc becomes angry with the summoned doctor for taking so long.

Without a doubt, these books are only for hardcore fans of Doc.



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The Golden Age of DC Comics by Paul Levitz

My rating: 2 of 5 stars


Having just finished one coffee table style art book, I was ready to dive into another. The previous book, Dungeons & Dragons: Art & Arcana, was divided into nine chapters and had a solid narrative outlining the history and evolution of the game's artwork. This book, though it has a lot of amazing artwork, had no real narrative to speak of and I found the text rather disappointing. First, there is an extremely brief interview with Joe Kubert that felt very superficial. Next, we get an all too brief history of the early days of what would become DC Comics. This is the first 50 pages of the book. The next 350 pages is all artwork, but without any kind of narrative to help pull you through, the tiny text of the captions leave you wallowing adrift. I realize that this is probably typical of most coffee table books which are supposed to be glanced at not read, but I wanted more. Not a lot more, but something to pull you through beyond just flipping pages. Lastly, there are occasional references comparing a featured illustration to a future (post-Golden age) illustration. It would be great if I didn't have to run to the computer to see what they're talking about. They should have had those comparisons side by side. In all, while I loved the artwork, the presentation left me wanting.



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Blizzard!: The Storm That Changed America by Jim  Murphy

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


My local library's computer used some algorithm to recommend this book so it was completely on a whim that I ordered it (knowing a little about the devastating effects of this storm and wanting to know more). When it arrived, I was surprised to discover it's a book for young adults, as I was expecting something much longer and more detailed. Nevertheless, it's quite good and provides a nice summary of events while recounting several individuals struggles and deaths during the storm. It was a quick, pleasant read that I managed to finish in a day. It's kind of like watching a short documentary on the subject. I will seek out other books by author Jim Murphy.



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Iron Maiden Legacy of the Beast Volume 1 by Llexi Leon

My rating: 1 of 5 stars


Sigh. I think it goes without saying that if you're reading this you're an Iron Maiden fan and I'm no exception. Unfortunately, this feels like fan exploitation. Very cheesy and yet not very tasty. I think the other fans are being generous with their ratings, but I can't be. If we're true fans, we can't be blinded by our fandom. We need to be honest and this simply isn't very good. One star.

(Aside: I can't help but feel as though Maiden is jumping on the merchandising band wagon heavy of late a la Kiss which is unfortunate. They're better than that.)



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Ronnie James Dio: A Biography of a Heavy Metal Icon by James Curl

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


First, I have to say this was an amazingly quick book to read (I read it in two days and easily could have done it in one) and I really enjoyed it. However, it has a lot of problems, the main one being that it reads like a Reader's Digest version of Dio's life. There is only one chapter (roughly 10-14 pages long) that covers his time with Rainbow and another for Sabbath. Surely, there's more to tell. I've no doubt we're missing out on plenty of anecdotes and stories. The author kind of hits on Ronnie joining, putting out the first album and then rushing through the rest until his departure.

Also, one of the aspects of Dio's life that I've always been curious about is his relationship with Wendy and we get almost no insight into that here. The author discusses their marriage and a tumultuous time in their relationship when it seems as though they're breaking up, but that's it. Decades pass without hardly any mention of her or Ronnie's relationship to her. Obviously, they had a business partnership and they never divorced, but there's so much missing.

While the author seems to have done a good job interviewing Dio's friends and bandmates, he also quotes from Wikipedia. To me, this feels a bit lazy.

Lastly, for some reason about halfway through the book there were suddenly a fair amount of typos. They seem confined to the middle section so maybe someone didn't proofread as carefully. A rather minor point overall, but always worth mentioning since they do take you out of the work.

Despite these problems and even though I would much prefer a longer, more thorough biography, one of the things that prompted the author to write this book was that there were no other biography's of Dio. So I'll happily take this over nothing.



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The Imago Sequence and Other Stories by Laird Barron

My rating: 1 of 5 stars


I would normally dislike anyone who writes in a library book, but in this case, whoever it was made some good points about Barron's writing. Here are a few examples starting with the quote from the book and then the penciled in notes (though I sometimes elaborate on those notes to make them clearer for you):

"Silence spread like a riptide..." (p. 178)
What does that mean? Riptides don't spread.

"I might as well have stared down the drain pipe of a gun..." (p. 182)
What? You mean the barrel since guns don't have drains.

"His truck dwindles and is lost when I round the bend." (p. 182)
No, the view dwindles.

"Jacob was feeling enigmatic when he called..." (p. 199)
People don't "feel" enigmatic; they act or seem it. Also, how would the narrator know what Jacob was feeling?

I wanted to like this book. I wanted to like the title story since it's one of his most acclaimed, but none of this worked for me. Okay, with one exception: I did enjoy the first story, "Old Virginia," but everything else failed. Even if I liked a story such as "Parallax", the ending was so bad I suddenly hated everything that came before it for wasting my time.




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A Collection of Desires: 7 Tales of Modern Horror by Shawn C. Baker

My rating: 2 of 5 stars


I really wanted to like this. I did. And I thought the first story, "Scare Me" was promising, but fell apart at the end. Which is what I found to be the case in most of the stories. There's no doubt that this writer has talent, but his endings remained unsatisfactory throughout. I think plotting is, perhaps, his biggest weakness.

There are other problems, but they are mostly easily fixed. For example, in "The Apartment" the ending is revealed at the beginning. Fine in some cases, but not here. Also, the title is rather bland and could easily be better, more enticing.

The biggest problem I had was with the story arc of "In His Arms, She Felt Loved" which I thoroughly disliked. It's about a woman afraid of her boyfriend who ends up accidentally killing him. She then frets about getting rid of the body when it's easily self-defense. Immediately, I had trouble regarding the character's motivation, especially since they lived together. It's not as though eliminating the corpse would eliminate her as a suspect. I found the character's intelligence and reasoning deeply flawed, not that it mattered as the out of left field ending mostly rendered it moot.

I guess that would be the other problem I noticed. Many of the endings didn't seem earned. Often, they came out of left field, I suppose as a surprise, but really they're just happening because. It feels lazy. There are some good concepts here, that, if workshopped to their full potential, would make good stories. Instead, they are wasted as setups to endings that don't work.

I hope that the author takes more time on his next collection as his work has potential. But it's not in this volume.



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The Extra by Michael   Shea

My rating: 1 of 5 stars


This was absolutely terrible. I would like to write a longer review explaining why, but after just finishing the book, I feel as though I've already wasted too much time on it already. My biggest gripe was the unnecessary switch from first to third person for no reason. Not that there aren't much bigger problems, but this one bothered me because it felt so pretentious and pointless in a book about people fighting giant mechanical spiders.



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Philip K. Dick's Electric Dreams by Philip K. Dick

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


If you sat down to read this collection of ten stories, you could probably read it in a day. But you probably wouldn't want to do that. The point of short stories is to spread them out. So maybe it would take a week. It took me a long time to finish this book, but not because of the stories, because of the TV series. Each episode of Electric Dreams is based on one of these stories... and the stories are better.

Not that they are great. This is Philip K. Dick at his earliest, when he's still growing as a writer. But they're mostly fun; short stories he probably dashed off quickly to sell to the magazines. A few are quite dated (one story deals with a kid envious of the other families with a bomb shelter when he has none, and most of them have a male protagonist in a 50s America), but that's to be expected.

I would imagine that some of these stories might have been good TV adaptations for a half hour format (such as The Twilight Zone), but an hour is a long time and trying to adapt a short 10-20 page story into fifty minutes of television is rarely going to work well. Which is why the episodes borrow very lightly from the stories. For the most part, they're completely made up and yes, modernized. There were a few that I really enjoyed (I'm talking about the episodes here) such as Autofac and Human Is. But many were rather dull and boring. And then there's the adaptation of "Sales Pitch" which makes no sense to me. In the original story, Ed Morris complains about the increasing frequency of ads only to come home to find a robot in his living room who's trying to sell -- itself. And it won't leave until it's purchased. It's an incredibly imaginative and funny premise and it's completely ignored in the adaptation. It felt like a completely missed opportunity.

Each story has a brief introduction by the writer who adapted it, but they really add nothing other than some necessary padding to the book which would otherwise be even shorter than it already is.

Do I recommend the stories? Absolutely. Again, not P.K. Dick's best, but they're fun enough and some nice mostly light reading before bed. Would I recommend the series? Not so much. It was an absolute chore to get through and if there's a season two, I'll miss it. But I'll still read the stories they're based on.




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Han Solo at Stars' End by Brian Daley

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


After having just read Splinter of the Mind's Eye, this was a breath of fresh air. Loads of fun, action packed and Han Solo even admits he's the kind of guy who likes to SHOOT FIRST and ask questions later. Unfortunately, it bogged down a bit at the end and the climax felt a little too ridiculous, but still fun and worthy of any fan's time for a quick adventure. I'm sure this will be better than the upcoming Solo movie.

2.5 stars



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Splinter of the Mind's Eye by Alan Dean Foster

My rating: 1 of 5 stars


Yes, it took me over two weeks to read a thin 199 page paperback, but this book was GREAT! Night after night it helped me fall asleep after reading just a few pages. One afternoon I thought about powering through a section, but then I thought why? Why would I want to rush through the book that's curing my insomnia? Here's an example of the writing (p. 135):

    Exhausted, he fell back onto his back and stared at the pincushion ceiling.
    "You did it, Luke. You beat it off."

Sadly, that's about as interesting as it ever gets since I at least chuckled. This was horribly tedious. The sexual tension between Luke and Leia now seems creepy. The droids may as well not even be present since they take no active role whatsoever editing them out wouldn't change a thing. For some reason Luke, who grew up on a desert planet, knows how to swim, but Leia doesn't??? Huh? New characters are introduced that are as bland as their names (Halla and Grammel). After traveling for something like two weeks through the swamp, Luke and Leia are trapped in a pit and he wonders why the others don't go back in town to get a rope. I don't know, maybe because it would take them a month to travel both ways and our heroes would have starved to death in that time? Oh, there's more, but why? Why go on? Let's be honest, you're only reading this if you're a hardcore Star Wars fan to begin with which means you probably fall into one of two categories: One, you love everything Star Wars no matter what in which case you'll find some reason to enjoy this book despite all of its faults; or two, you grew up with Star Wars, still love the first two movies (that's right, I said two) and along the way you've come to realize that everything that's followed falls somewhere between bland and boring to downright terrible.

But seriously, this book helped me fall asleep for two weeks. So there's that.





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"The Horrors of Hawaii" a short story about relationships and manipulations was published in Page & Spine and you can read it at the link below:

http://www.pagespineficshowcase.com/samson-stormcrow-hayes.html

Batman: The Dark Knight Strikes Again by Frank Miller

My rating: 1 of 5 stars


Once upon a time, Dark Knight Returns was a groundbreaking work that changed the landscape of comics. This? Not so much.

It really is terrible. Surprisingly terrible. And it makes no sense. It feels like Miller just trying to make money and he rushed through this in as little time as possible.



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The Empire Strikes Back by Donald F. Glut

My rating: 2 of 5 stars


So I owned this book back in my youth, but then, many years ago, I was moving and had to cull my collection and this book along with Han Solo's Revenge, Spinter in the Mind's Eye and many many others made their way to various used bookstores. Then, a few weeks ago, I was at the Glendale Vintage Paperback Book Show and saw a pristine copy of this book for only $3. Imagine my surprise when I found out it was numbered and signed by the author.

I decided to buy it for reasons of pure nostalgia and having bought it, I decided to read it. I thought the book had a few scenes of wampas running amok in the rebel base that weren't in the movie, but I was wrong. It's a fairly faithful adaptation of the movie except that some of the film's great lines of dialogue are absent (i.e. Leia: "I love you." Solo: "I know.") There's really not much reason to read it since it's far more fun to see the film, but I enjoyed it for what it was. Though most of the book is written competently, there are moments of horrendous writing scattered throughout.



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The New Bedside, Bathtub and Armchair Companion to Agatha Christie by Dick Riley

My rating: 2 of 5 stars


This is an odd book. Let me begin by comparing it to another. Growing up, one of my favorite reference books was The Twilight Zone Companion by Marc Scott Zicree. Once I discovered the Twilight Zone, I couldn't get enough and this book was a great guide in learning about the series, but also letting me know which season each episode aired. I loved the short descriptions which included Serling's opening and closing narration. It gave you everything you needed to know.

Now this book makes it a great point in saying that they won't give away any of the murderers. So you have hundreds of pages (the vast majority of the book is summary of the novels and stories) that ultimately lead nowhere. If the description is supposed to entice you into reading the novel, well, it gives nearly everything away. Everything but the murderer. As a reference book, I feel it therefore fails. (Granted, the reveal would probably be best if it were on a different page or revealed in a section in the back, but it could have been done.)

I've owned this book for many years and the reason I picked it up was after reading a Christie book a few months ago, it reignited my desire to refresh my memory on those books I read in my youth. Alas, these descriptions really didn't do it for me. Nevertheless, I did kind of enjoy going through the book. Hence, my two stars. However, it is for hardcore purists only as the other articles aren't really that interesting. Ultimately, in the age of Wikipedia, there's really no need for this book.



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Siberia 56 by Christophe Bec

My rating: 1 of 5 stars


This was like reading the comic book version of a cheesy B movie. What makes B movies fun, however, is that even though they don't make sense, they have fun action and cheesy dialogue. On the printed page, none of that works. Like in B movies, characters do things that make no sense. For example, they've been at this station for SIX YEARS and one day a team of scientists decide to walk out into the arctic wasteland to explore an area just outside their base that they've never been to... in six years!? And why are they walking? They have ships, they even have drones, but no, a walk into the wild where, of course, they're attacked by an invisible monster. See, the stuff of good B movies, but what's fun on film falls flat on these pages.



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